And so now we're here

So just yesterday I learned about the death of a friend. I'm not sure how to do this whole stream of consciousness thing, but I need to do my homework and can't seem to focus on anything, so instead of trying to fight this horrible feeling of overtaking sadness and exhaustion mixed with waves of nauseousness, I figured I'd just blog about it. Maybe this will help.

Is there an ultimate sin? Is any one sin worse than the next? I know that the Bible states how every sin is equal in "badness".

I don't understand how people can go through this life without Jesus. Life is very rough sometimes. And I mean family, friends, and "special someone's" definitely really help, but what would you have to live for without the Lord? But then again, why do some people who claim to follow the Lord demonstrate that they don't have anything to live for? Does that make sense to anyone here? Cause I just don't understand...

I know that God gives and takes away. But why does He sometimes just sit back and watch what happens? Or does He purposely not step in?

He wants us to be His hands and feet. It's so difficult for me to wrap my mind around this!! I see so many ways that I could have helped and been THE HANDS and SAID SOMETHING. But He didn't tell me anything... so now we're here.

I know we're not meant to understand, but sometimes it's painful to acknowledge this and let God take control.

The picture I included was a drawing I did really fast when I couldn't organize any rational thoughts for the reasons of which this happened. If you ask me what it means, I won't have an answer. Just my thoughts portrayed on the only material I had at the time... done with sharpie on the back of a notecard.