Top 10 Movies I Hate the Most

2: Batman and Robin

     The reason I put this film ahead of Twilight is simple. Both these films were incredibly stupid, but I didn't care about the characters in Twilight, so I lost nothing watching those movies. This film on the other hand is not only as bad as Twilight, but it also essentially rapes the essence of my favorite superhero of all time. Talk about an insult.
     This film was so bad, I literally couldn't watch parts of it. I would hit the fast-forward button and hope the next scene wasn't as bad as the one before. I was disappointed every time.
     Where do I begin with this film? Should I start with Schumacher putting bat-nipples and bat-butts on the suits? Or maybe the horrible one-liners? The over-the-wall villains? The bat-credit card? Choices, choices, choices. George Clooney was bland as tofu (an insult to tofu) in this film. It's like he wasn't even trying. (Who could blame him though?) Robin, who was actually well-written in the previous installment Batman Forever, is reduced to a whiny brat-boy, Batgirl was just lame and so was her journey to becoming Batgirl, one rife with lame coincidences and cliches. As for the villains, I couldn't take the Arnold's T-101 character seriously after I saw this film. How could a guy who played the terminator possibly stoop this low? And Uma Therman is out of this world (not in a good way) as Poison Ivy. She was so dumb I skipped practically all her scenes after two minutes of watching them. Who wrote these villains? How could any intelligent person think this was good writing?
      How does this film rape the Batman legend? Let's take a look. Batman doesn't have nipples the the suit nor does he flash his bat-backside to the camera (seriously, what was up with that shot?). He doesn't make public appearances, especially not ones where he bids on beautiful women to take on a  date. He would see that as a waste of time (much like appearing in this movie). Mr. Freeze is actually a tragic villain who crossed the line trying to save his wife, not a goofball who make stupid jokes and sings "I'm Mr. White Christmas, I'm Mr. Snow" (I almost cried watching that scene. It was that embarrassingly stupid). This film did nothing right at all! Even Bane, who isn't just a dumb thug in a rubber suite, is horrible. At least Chris Nolan should have no trouble at all doing Bane better in the new film. And again, what's with Schumacher's obsession with color. Gotham city looks more like some kind of drug induced hallucination than a real place. That kind of scenery may work for Phantom of the Opera, but not Batman. Batman exists in a dark universe, not a bright and colorful cartoon.
     This isn't a Batman movie. It's a debauch. An insult to one of the greatest superheros of all time.

Final Thought:

I would rather shove a needle factory up my eye than watch this pile of bat-droppings again.