Why Prof. Leeper wasn't at the Dowdens.

Professor Leeper had every intention of going to the study break on October 5, 2011 at the Dowden's. He even had already cancelled two other appointments that night in order to make it (I don't know what appointments would be made for midnight or one in the morning, but they had been made and were likewise cancelled.) Shortly before 11:30 pm. Professor Leeper left to go to the Dowdens when he realized that he had left his pajamas in the house. He had just stepped out of his car when he saw a black squirrel on the low branch of a tree across the street. Clutched in his paws were a striped pair of pajamas. Professor Leeper didn't need to look in the house anymore.

The squirrel stared with beady eyes.

Professor Leeper stared back.

Before either could blink, the Pajamas and the little animal that carried them flew down from the branch and bolted down the street.

Professor leaper ducked back into the driver's seat and pulled out into the road, tires screeching, and drove wildly after the furry little thief.

He bounded down street after street, but the animal seemed to elude the tires of the car each and every time, darting off into another direction. By now it was half past Midnight and Professor Leeper's car was running low on fuel; He floored the pedal and aimed for the rodent. The squirrel seemed to maintain a good pace, but then the distance between him and the front tire began to close. Inch by inch, the spinning tire came closer and closer, and the tail of the animal just barely made contact with the spinning rubber. For one sickly moment, it seemed as though the little animal would disappear beneath the wheel.

Suddenly, he jumped to the right, and Leeper followed-

right into a tree.

After pushing past the airbags and the crumpled door, Leeper jumped out of the car and looked up just in time to see a pair of striped pajamas disappear into the leaves. He ground his teeth, clenched his fists and rolled up his sleeves. In a rage, he marched to the back of the smoking vehicle, opened the trunk, and pulled out a 20 foot ladder. Then, totally and inexplicably uninjured from the recent crash, Leeper began to climb.

And climb.

And climb.

Until all at once, Leeper noticed just how tall the tree was; he could see the entire town of Huntington- no, the entire County of Huntington, and there was still quite a ways to go.

Professor Leeper glanced at his watch, the numbers staring- 1:20 am. He sighed and was just about to call it quits when something in the branch to his far right caught his eye-

His stripped Pajamas. And the little squirrel trying to make a hammock out of it with a shoelace.

Leeper reached for the closet thing he could- in this case an acorn that hung from the branch above him- and carefully aimed before bending his arm back and-

Too late. Leeper dropped the acorn.

The squirrel turned, screeched with alarm and jumped, holding on the the pajamas that caught the wind, serving as a kind of parachute and allowing the little animal to float to the ground. So Leeper climbed.

and climbed.

and climbed.

Until finally, he reached the ground just as the squirrel floated softly on the grass. Professor Leeper leaped in one final desperate attempt to catch the animal in his grasp and-

missed by two inches. The squirrel chattered away in what sounded like unbridled and preposterous laughter. Tears came into his beady little eyes and his furry body shook as he started to scurry off into the night when at that very moment, the leaves rustled above as something moved past them, and in the next instant, the acorn that Leeper had dropped hit the little animal on the head then bounced to the ground. The squirrel dropped, and didn't move.

After taking back his pajamas, Professor Leeper felt bad for the squirrel, so he scooped up the lifeless rodent, buried him, then drove back home in his mangled car, and when anyone asked him what happened to the vehicle, he explains simply- "I hit a squirrel."